The relationship between praise and love

If you want to experience more love, then you want to play with praise. By praise, I don’t mean anything religious. Rather, I’m referring to a very natural way of being that you experience when you rise above mind-based judgements. Praise, which is the doorway to appreciation, is a choice you can make at any moment. Irrespective of what’s happening, it is always possible to make it a priority to be in a state of praise instead of criticism.

Praise creates gratitude and gratitude leads to love.

Let me prove it to you now. Wherever you happen to be as you read these words, I want you to stop and have a look around. While you do, I want you to find something that you do NOT like. (I know it’s not a very positive thing for me to ask you to do, but bear with me, we are going somewhere!). Do your best to find something within your current setting to criticize. Then, once you’ve found it, take a few moments to actively think critical comments about it in your mind.

You might notice a stain on the carpet, a pile of dirty clothes that need to be washed, or hear the music that you don’t like coming from your neighbour’s place. Find something now and think critical thoughts about it for a few moments. As you do, notice what happens within your body.

Anyone I’ve ever done this exercise with has commented that they have felt a heaviness or constriction in their body and described a range of other downward-spiralling emotional experiences.

Now, with the exact same thing you were just being negative about, I want you to find something to praise about it. I appreciate that you may have to scrape the bottom of the barrel and be creative, but nevertheless, for a few moments I want you to actively think positive and praiseful comments about it in your mind.  So you could now choose to be appreciative of having a carpet that keeps your house warm, clothes to wear and fully functioning ears that are able to hear sounds.

Again, as you do, notice what happens within your body. If you genuinely do rise above the previous negative comments by focusing on what you can praise, you will find that a change occurs within your psyche. The feedback I consistently receive when asking people to do this includes that they feel lighter, more open and expansive.

Overall, the comments I get are that praising is an upward-spiralling emotional experience, in contrast to criticizing. Now here’s the point. Miraculously, the thing you were originally criticizing did NOT have to change for your inner experience of it to improve – your experience changed and improved simply through the power of praise. 


This simple praise game perfectly illustrates a liberating possibility when it comes to enjoying freedom from problems and loving life. It proves that your emotional experience of life is ultimately your choosing. By “experience of life”, I don’t mean the external events occurring because they can often be outside your direct control. However, your inner experience of life can always be a positive one if you choose to make it a priority to praise.

Take a moment to consider the implications of this. Your external life circumstances, whether on the surface they appear to be good or bad, no longer need to have any power over how good you feel inside or how much love you experience.

Freedom in life comes from you being OK irrespective of what’s happening. If you have to manage and control your life so that it looks exactly how you think it should, then you aren’t free. Quite the opposite! Your emotional experience of life will continue to be governed by external forces because your mood will go up and down depending on inner thinking about the weather of your life circumstances. In fact, the truth is that you can only be free by learning to let life be. You don’t have to wait for your life circumstances to improve before you can experience your heart’s greatest desire. You can be love life now!

With the power of praise you enter into a state of joyful existence, flowing from one moment to the next, effortlessly enjoying the journey.